@Henry_3k: My therapist says I need to overcome "shame-based" thinking but if it wasn't for shame I don't think I'd get a damn thing done around here.
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@KyleMcDowell86: ME: Cant sleep. Theres too much going on in the world MY WIFE: Whats bothering u? ME: If Garfield didnt have a job, why did he hate Mondays?
@thepunningman: [on deathbed] "Tell my Wif... *cough*" Yes? Tell her what? "Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best" [dies]
@therealeatwood: ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance.