@FreudsTwin: My therapist told me I should start making my own decisions. So I stopped seeing him.
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@michaelianblack: Internet, just because I bought shoes from you once doesn't mean I'm going to do it again. You're coming across as desperate.
@theshamingofjay: TRUMP: I'm building a wall to keep Mexicans out. AMERICANS: I'm going to Canada if Trump is elected. CANADIANS: We need to build a wall.
@NotthatAdamWest: The FBI's security gets penetrated so often that we should make it an honorary Kardashian.