@meganamram: my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote
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@SaraMansford: No, I'm not "lackadaisical", I'm lazy, which is the same only 3 whole syllables less.
@bobvulfov: (staying in on a friday night) this is depressing and lonely (at a bar on a friday night) oh wow i hate this more
@NicCageMatch: I would have suggested they just use a regular volleyball, but I guess the Olympics are special.
@lilgapeach30: I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends.