@mattgallo123: My third bottle of wine was able to "breathe" for a few hours when I opened it at 3am and passed out on the floor.
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@BlindVigil: Q: "How long were you at your last job?" A: "Seven-and-a-half inches... same as now"
@okimstillhungry: Smoke detector: IS THAT A FIRE I SMELL Me: No I'm making baco- Smoke detector: IM A HERO
@murrman5: [during dinner on a date] "I'm currently in university" how long is your degree? "normally a year, but I have dial up, so probably 2"
@Ivsy01: Flirt with him. Drop down and pick up your asthma inhaler. Look back, readjust your glasses.