@HeyJennyConway: My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it.
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@shawnspree: Friend: How many calories does heartache burn? Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.
@EasilyTempted: If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.
@chadzappa: is this your first day on the internet? men are men, women are men, and children are cops...
@myonlymizztake: If your kid texts you questions about the price of replacing any household item, you will be replacing said item.