@HeyJennyConway: My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it.
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@weinerdog4life: When I tell my wife I'm gonna have to work late she knows it's code for I was playing with super glue and I'm stuck to my desk again.
@daemonic3: HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, "in it"?
@TheAlexNevil: Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul...to keep... If I shall die before I wake-- Yah, I really don't like where this is going.
@dinokitten: "Dude go make the first move on her!" "Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing." *approaches girl* "Knight to f3"