@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler just threw her teddy bear out of her crib like she works for United Airlines.
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@DistractedMomma: I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people's houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs.
@MichaelJTiberi: Why is everyone bragging about how great it is to have kids? I slept till noon today, and the only person who threw up last night was me.
@dyldonot: [consoling grieving widow] so I guess you'll be looking for a new owner for his pokémon collection?