@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler just threw her teddy bear out of her crib like she works for United Airlines.
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@cloudypianos: "someday this will all be yours" I say to my dogs, waving my arms wildly across a half empty plate of mexican food
@sarcasticmommy4: My husband offered to make me a mimosa & then said, “Oh, sorry, we don’t have orange juice.” Me: “That’s fine. I don’t take orange juice in my mimosa.”
@Goofpoops: Watching movies with kids: If he/she hasn't seen it, eons and billions of questions. If he/she has seen it, eons and billions of spoilers.
@JediGigi: Him: You need to work on your communication skills Me: [through megaphone right up in his face] PLEASE BE MORE SPECIFIC