@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler just threw her teddy bear out of her crib like she works for United Airlines.
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@davedittell: Jesus hands his iPhone to da Vinci, "hey can you get one of me and my best buds? thanks man! HEY EVERYONE GET ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE TABLE"
@mandysparklerxo: You'll never say "wrong hole" more often than when you're trying to help a toddler put on gloves.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Unless they're darker than, say, beige."- Statue of Liberty.