@djdarrellripley: My toliet has a lifetime guarantee! I never have to buy another one. When I die, my kid will inherit the throne. It'll be like Shakespeare!
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@rudetanks: The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad. And you said id never amount to anything
@david8hughes: [steps off treadmill] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."