@jumpdashark: My tombstone will read: If You Don't Know Me By Now, You Will Never Ever Ever Know Me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhatevaConc: When complaining of a stomach ache, you don't really need to point to it or pat it gently. People pretty much know where the stomach is.
@WildeThingy: Jamaica has declared war on drugs. Actually, they pretty much do everything on drugs.
@ambamthankyamam: I saved my husband's life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
@OwensDamien: In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I’ve put the biscuits on a higher shelf. Boy, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.