@jumpdashark: My tombstone will read: If You Don't Know Me By Now, You Will Never Ever Ever Know Me.
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@SpencerLenox: I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
@armyVet1972: Big shoutout to the Red Robin waitress who checked my ID and immediately ruined the moment by saying, "Wow you're, like, older than my dad!"
@Gre_Gone: *caches football thrown from off screen* "Are you having problems with slow interne*video starts buffering*