@mooodles: 'My train was late' should be enough excuse to take the day off. Bosses please note.
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@Piecezilla: [Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast
@fightforfood: You can pretty much tell me anything is an anagram and I'll believe it. I'm not about to rearrange a bunch of letters like some doctor
@AcceptableLoses: Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that.
@RealBobMortimer: FOR SALE: Circular metal shield with metal handle... possibly Roman??..(chanced across it on top of my dustbin) £8.00