@mooodles: 'My train was late' should be enough excuse to take the day off. Bosses please note.
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@JermHimselfish: I like how commercials for gum seem to be predicting a cold, dystopian future where our survival depends on the freshness of our breath.
@VodkaShorebird: I'm with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don't find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can't believe this what you guys eat in Africa!
@SamDeLanche: 7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check? Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.