@BlakWidowBarbee: My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard.
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@Sickayduh: Me: *goes to jail for murdering coworkers* Boss: You're still coming in early tomorrow, right?
@ginger_xtc: build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
@stephenjmolloy: Commissioner Gordon: It says here that bats sleep upside down and wee over themselves. Batman: We also poop. CG: We? B: They. I mean they