@BlakWidowBarbee: My tweets don't get the attention they used to. I've seen more stars after getting my head slammed into the headboard.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: ME: I think it's time I get my life in order. MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk that night and fought a raccoon.
@AnOrangeSNES: Things I learned today: 1) Gel is not short for jelly 2) KY isn't an acronym for "Krazy Yummy" 3) I'm not allowed to make my own lunch