@MalkyDungeon: My Twitter bio was too long so I'm putting it here
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@tastefactory: *Action movie guy gets shot 3 times* It's nothing, I'll be fine. *gets shot a 4th time* Wow ok, that last one, ok whoooooo.
@Xoolun: I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
@farleftcoast: Text from husband: Where are you at? Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.
@ilovepie84: " So the boat was about to sink until I attached a sail to my boner and made it safely to shore" Me if I was on the Titanic.