@WilliamAder: My Twitter clique is basically five or six people who have mistaken me for someone else.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] "Hey" Hi "Can I ask you something?" Yup "Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"
@SunshineJarboly: "Oh sure, they can eat their own poop, no problem. They just CAN'T eat chocolate. It'll kill them." - God inventing dogs.
@Piecezilla: [Jogs to a halt in front of you minutes after a fire truck passes]That guy's (panting) never gonna sell any fire (panting) driving that fast