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@SaraESpivey: My Twitter crush is 4,762-timing me!
@Jenny4ashley: Don't leave me alone.
Alone: I have a boyfriend.
@WildeThingy: Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world.
@flukyness: I just cut my hand on a box of band aids if you were wondering how I'm doing at life
@DumbConfessions: *jumps from plane*
*grabs onto flying squirrel*
*lives to tell the tale*
@SchooIAnswer: this is so accurate