@XLCadillac: My two levels of drunk are 1) dancing with fat chicks at the club 2) smashing my neighbor's window thinking I locked myself out of my house.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thatUPSdude: Devil: I want your soul! Me: Not for sale! Devil: Name your price. Me: Fix all my typos. Devil: Too much work, keep your soul.
@rajaet: There's only one kind of people in this world 1. who are good at maths 2. who aren't 3. whose dog can come up with a better tweet than this.
@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.