@msdanifernandez: My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road.
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@notacroc: GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no
@PlainTravis: I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.
@SteveKoehler22: Ladies : Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ? Your dentist.