@megsaystweet: My Uber driver was telling me "stop apply lipstick!" and "start lipstick, Miss!" because of holes in the road... not all heroes wear capes
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@WilliamRodgers: Don't let that "Metalica" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball"
@NickBossRoss: Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially.
@kyle_thatisall: If your girl says "Hey guess what!" you better already have your super excited blown away face picked out for whatever nonsense comes next.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I think it's adorable when kids lose their teeth, they look like tiny meth addicts.