@LanieLalaBugs: My ultimate goal in life is to open a milkshake shop & call it "The Yard"
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@3sunzzz: [hotel fire alarm] M: *in pjs* How did people get dressed and outside so quickly? H: It's 10am, they were already dressed. M: impressive
@_mcgoof: Pizza places should give away free pizza car air-freshners. Within 5seconds of sitting in your car, you WILL crave pizza.
@duplicitron: Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.