@mrbuster60: "My uncle is a dead person guy". Me last night when I couldn't think of the word mortician
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@Ideal_Victoria: I really hope that people are staring at me because they think I'm pretty and not because I slipped on ice and into a parked car.
@Mr_Kapowski: Apparently people running at the airport are trying to catch a flight & TSA does not need me to intervene and stop an international criminal
@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you leave a good tip? [flashback to me writing "Always look both ways before pulling out into traffic" on the check] me: Yep
@SalaciousSully: Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada