@Julian_Deane: My Uncle is either a good taxidermist or a bad vet.
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@FrenulumBreve: [Man in restaurant] I'll have that lobster please. *points to aquarium containing lobster putting finishing touches to his octopus disguise*
@donni: Work like you don't need the money: Just stop and go home. Who cares? You don't need that money
@QwertyJones3: Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior.
@thenatewolf: There are so many people outside, and so much yelling, and I genuinely genuinely don't know if it's a murder or a rare Pokemon.