@iscoff: My uncle started shouting at me about my "misuse" of emoticons and had a heart attack ;)
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@rachelle_mandik: a kid i met insisted she visited the "vampire state building" and i couldn't bring myself to correct her
@WilliamAder: A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
@EJGomez: God: ok u can make one human that's it Satan: how do u feel about toupees & the name Donald
@blasphe_me: I guess it's not socially acceptable to put my hand in the shape of a gun into my mouth in the middle of a conversation.