@iscoff: My uncle started shouting at me about my "misuse" of emoticons and had a heart attack ;)
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@BromanConsul: I keep my friends close *lean in, whisper* and my anemones closer "Sir thats very fun but aquarium policy forbids sitting in the touch tank"
@SondraDeeMe: You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet.
@theshantilly: Him: What are you doing? Me: Tweeting. Him: Gah. Such a colossal waste of time. Me: *stare* Him: *goes back to playing Candy Crush*