@robdelaney: My uncle was found dead in his office last night by cleaning staff. I'm glad because he wore Crocs to my wedding in 2006.
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@MythicPicnic: Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out....
@Brianhopecomedy: My 3 year old is singing the rare 19 hour version of "Let It Go", using only 3 words.
@SaveItForFest: You see me wildly flailing my arms. Did I: a) Walk through a spider web? b) Try to wrap something in Saran wrap? c) Try to use Scotch tape?
@MavenofHonor: *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring