@Miniwheats2012: My version of "naked and afraid" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hazelmotes1: Having children really brought me and my wife closer together. We have a common enemy now.
@Book_Krazy: [quietly] "Always a bridesmaid never the bride" BRIDE: Hey, you're not one of my bridesmaids! "Shhh...this day is about you, not me."
@Holy_Mowgli: ALEX TREBEK: this accidental discovery in 1928 opened the door to modern antibiotics ME: *spraying a mouthful of popcorn* WHAT IS A DOORKNOB
@tastefactory: My computer keeps giving me an error message saying "The Printer Can't Be Found." Uh buddy it's RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HELLO