@YearOfRat: My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary's ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk.
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@2tickytacky: I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car.
@juliussharpe: Watching "Wizard of Oz". I'd forgotten how the neighbor wants to kill Toto and Auntie Em and Uncle Henry were fine with it. Family fun!
@ShittyComedian: When a black guy pulls a knife on me on the subway I remind him he doesn't have to feed into racial stereotypes. Then I usually get stabbed.
@hardlyrelevant: (pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one “What was your favorite part?” I’d have to say the Peace