@YearOfRat: My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary's ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk.
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@drunktweets81: I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
@ceejoyner: I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.
@themiltron: PERSON WHO JUST INVENTED WINDOWS: Check it out. PERSON WHO’S ABOUT TO INVENT CURTAINS: I hate it.
@T_N_Crumpets: Wife: Are you crying in there? Me crying: NO! W: have you been eating cheese again? *opens door* Me with mousetrap stuck to lips: NO