@realHamOnWry: My Voodoo doll would be a glazed ham wrapped in chicken feathers.
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@markleggett: What if birds have tiny human-like ears underneath their feathers? That's certainly something to think about, but not during sex.
@SlabBaconBP: I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking.
@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.
@LuvPug: I just deleted the same tweet twice for two different typos and now I can't tweet it again because it's already been stolen