@bea_ker: My waterslide technique has been described as 'oafish', 'dangerous' and 'how did you get into the penguin enclosure'.
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@The1WhosCrazy: The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it.
@SamuelHLowe: - I'd like to make a reservation. - Name? - Matthew McConaughey. - Can you spell that for me? - No.
@iAmDelFreaky: *sticks hand into jean pocket* Aw damn, why in the hell do I have bbq sauce in my pocket? *checks other pocket and finds nuggets* Oh, ok.
@zachreinert03: Audrey Hepburn probably has my favorite last name that combines an STD and a symptom of an STD