@ericsshadow: My wedding anniversary is next week. Does anyone have an idea for a gift that conveys the sentiment 'our love is priceless' for under $75?
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@ArfMeasures: ME: One time I was attacked by a shark REPORTER: Wow! [turns on recorder] tell us what it was like ME [leans in to mic] A massive fish
@LuvPug: If I was a pug, nobody would give me funny looks for slobbering in public or eating food off the floor.
@CorkyCrash: 11's thoughts on tonight's dinner: "Well, it didn't make me gag, so I ate it." The rewards of motherhood are truly breathtaking.