@LoveNLunchmeat: My wedding vows were until death do us part. Yet nowhere did they specify cause of death...
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@WritingWilkie: The most romantic movie of all time is definitely Pixar's UP. That old man really loved his house.
@jwoodham: When in doubt, ask yourself WWBD: What Would Beyoncé Do? Would she apply for a job? Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."
@Spaziotwat: [First date] Him:"Waiter!" Waiter:"Sir?" Him:"Could you check the toilets? My date has been gone 2 hours. Also, her coat has been stolen"