@LoveNLunchmeat: My wedding vows were until death do us part. Yet nowhere did they specify cause of death...
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@Jazzzzzmina: Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree.
@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.