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@SamGrittner: My wedding will be open casket.
@SortaSarcastic: Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at.
@Playing_Dad: 1. Denial
- My stages of getting ready for work
@Storminika: Cops are kinda weird, asking stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Cause I have weed in the glove compartment?
@caseytduncan: I thought Game of Thrones was a show about bathrooms