@OhNoSheTwitnt: My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he's been reading the news and knows he won't get punished for it.
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@Chel__CLE: Until a pregnancy test commercial involves a chick hysterically crying & screaming MY LIFE IS OVER, it's not real life.
@XOperfectmessXO: Nothing screams passive agressive quite like letting your spouse sleep in, while also letting the kids play loudly outside the bedroom door
@AtticusFinch79: <gets pulled over> Officer- What's making all that noise in your trunk? Me- My feelings. I'm trying to dispose of them properly.