@theshantilly: My whole life is that moment when you send an important e-mail mentioning an attachment without the actual attachment.
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@2tickytacky: Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.
@AlexvanBeek: Imagine how much more useful Superman would've been if he'd helped people move their heavy furniture instead.
@trevso_electric: When two girls hate each other, they say "we should DEFINITELY hang out" and then take turns shouting "definitely!" until one of them dies.
@SketchesbyBoze: BEACH BODY TIP: if you find a body on the beach call the police immediately, don’t team up with a hilarious old woman from out of town to solve the crime.