@TeaAndCopy: My wife always accuses me of having a favourite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
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@dshack8: 2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says "I think I'd better wash my hands", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM.
@Chumpstring: I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
@juliussharpe: Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?