@DaHess1: My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can't decide on buying and I google my life expectancy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveKoehler22: My coworkers and I pitched in to buy Greece as a retirement gift for the boss.. We decided it was better than a $50 Applebee's gift card.
@hipstermermaid: I can’t believe it’s already been 10 zoips since I invented my own system for measuring time.
@david8hughes: Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas