@breadzeppellin: My wife and I had a real Fairytale wedding. A wolf killed her grandma during the ceremony and then we ate stolen porridge from some bears.
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@daemonic3: [CSI at Starbucks] "Ma'am you've been robbed. Suspect is at large." Barista: At what? "At large" At what? "At venti?" OMG HOW AWFUL!!!
@DanMentos: "Hello?" Dad come get me from practice "Sorry I'm going into a tunnel" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* …landline