@breadzeppellin: My wife and I had a real Fairytale wedding. A wolf killed her grandma during the ceremony and then we ate stolen porridge from some bears.
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@KeetPotato: [paddling silently along the amazon in 2-man kayak taking in it's beauty] *from behind me* you know they named this after a website
@Kyle_Lippert: "What do we call this war?" "The World War?" "No. There's already been 1 of those" "Uh this is a world war, too" *the streetlights explode*
@Iffy_hazard: Have been an Arsenal fan for barely an hour and I'm already frustrated,how have they been coping for the past decade?😭
@simoncholland: All parents want is for our kids to go to bed so we can watch a show with bad words in it and eat the hidden snacks.