@shkeeber: Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography.

@CloydRivers: If you plant a block of ramen noodles in the ground and water it with cold ones every day, it will grow into a college kid. It's science.

@jwoodham: "Friends" ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, "me having friends" ended long before that.

@xysist: [ Spelling bee ] Your word is Harry Potter Voldermort: Avada Kedavra!

@WhaJoTalkinBout: Don't try to sell a membership to the president of the fan club.