@matt_simpson84: My wife and I have an ongoing game called "Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House" that she doesn't know we are playing
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@ManvAlcohol: I'm just saying, if I were a bomb maker, I would make all the wires the same color.
@leechee420: Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers.
@Leemanish: Some patients are going to die, & you have to learn to accept that. It's just part of being an extremely bad chiropractor.
@DirtMcTurd: "We have a new product, it washes hair but it needs a name" Shamcrap?! "Awful" Shampoop?! "Get out!" Shampoo? "Genius!"