@samfromks: My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.
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@_NTFG_: Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once Upon A Time......last night......I had a few drinks and......borrowed your credit card.
@leshnevsky: - Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?
@Pork_Chop_Hair: *Band at a drive-thru, arguing about band name* Cashier: Here's your fries, and a nickel back Chad Kroeger, gasps: You guys I have an idea