@Brianhopecomedy: My wife and I play this fun game at home where one of us says, "Could you watch the kids for a minute?" and runs.
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@JordyHamrick: Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now.
@Maxine12333: I've always admired a man in a uniform who is soft, sweet and tender. I guess my perfect match is the Stay Puft Marshmellow man.
@Storminika: I asked a blonde friend to check if my blinker was working, her reply was 'Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not.'
@TheMichaelRock: I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president.