@LifesGoodThing: My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
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@DanOverHere: -Boss: "Send me one of your funny tweets" -Me: "I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later" -Boss: "Hahaha! Send me another one."
@Tommytoughstuff: COP: [flashes his light into my car] ME: *struggles to roll down window* "Sorry this isn't my car."
@retardedwriter: If u think ur parents did nothing for you, remember Jackie Shrof named his son Tiger and Bappi Da named his son Bappa. Respect your parents