@KentWGraham: My wife and I trade off on bathroom cleaning. She avoids it one weekend, I avoid it the next.
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@TheDailySchmuck: I'm black. I should be able to stick my finger in milk and make it chocolate milk. But evolution is bogus.
@thedad: Welcome to parenthood. You're about to spend an irrational amount of time convincing a sleepy person to go to sleep
@mrjohndarby: I fall and drown in the lake. They pull out my body. "It's so bloated and grotesque" says one. "He only fell in a minute ago" says another
@joeldanger: Her: Men are lucky. You just get to wake up & be hot. Me: Not true. I still have to put my contacts in so I can see how hot I look. H: ...