@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night
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@petedavidson: Professor Snape caught Harry in the hall after dark and out of NOWHERE Lupin pops out in the hallway to save him. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT
@juliussharpe: Gotta be careful. My astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money.
@bourgeoisalien: Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome.