@echoVista: "My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
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@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@LaziestCanine: [stuck on an island] message in bottle: if anyone gets this, please save us bottle returns: if this gets 10k RTs on Twitter we'll send help
@Ketamine_Stalin: THE SUN HASN'T RISEN IN SIX WEEKS AND THE ANIMALS ARE AGITATED. THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM JUST SAYS "THAT'S ALL FOLKS"