@echoVista: "My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
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@LoveNLunchmeat: All of my best fantasies include a French maid. She cleans the house while I nap.
@lemonmartinis: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute
@BatBatshitcrazy: I've reached a fork in the road, thank heavens it was laying right next to a pan of lasagna.