@bvb1123: My wife and I were happy for 24 years. Then we met.
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@TheBigBatman: her: psssssssst me: ? her: psssssssssssssssssssssst me: ??? her: psssssssssssssssssssssssssssst GOD DAMN IT, MY BLOW UP DOLL HAS A PUNCTURE
@TheToddWilliams: [my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.
@MindyFurano: if you can't handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to
@MelKassel: SCIENTIST: it's our thinnest toilet paper yet, sir. less than a picometer CEO: *rips it by breathing on it* put it in every public restroom