@TheBoydP: My wife asked me if I was going to take a shower before we go to some friend's house for the evening like she didn't see me get in the pool.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sip_at_home_mom: Finally cleaned out the fridge to make meal planning easier. Tonight, we're having buttered olives with mustard and baking soda.
@cpabry: Pal - "Can you help me put this IKEA desk together?" Me - "I'll need a screwdriver." Pal - "Sure what type?" Me - "Greygoose or Kettle One."
@david8hughes: "So what kind of comedy will you be doing for us?" "The usual, self defecating." "Ha, I think you mean deprecating." "Think all you like."