@causticbob: My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, "Who else would I cheat on?"
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@samuelhlowe: - Baby, do you think I have too much makeup on? - That depends. Are you gonna try to kill Batman?
@machiavellino: (i go up to lady pushing baby in stroller and put my foot up on the stroller to address the baby) hey baby... is this woman bothering you