@simoncholland: My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault.
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@MarionDowling: Sometimes I run across a room really fast so a spider sees me out of the corner of its eye and spends the evening worrying where I've gone.
@PajamaStew: Bad Coroner: This guy you brought in a few days ago, I think I know how he died. The last thing he ate was spaghetti with bullets in it.