@OBiiieeee: *my wife catches me in bed looking at an optical illusions book* HONEY, NO IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
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@NOTVIKING: [taking long drag from cigarette] if the blackbox can't be destroyed then why don't they just make the whole plane out of the blackbox material flight attendant: you are absolutely not allowed to smoke in here
@MongooseMayhem: Let's play hide and sex. I mean seek. Damn it. Seek. Unless you're okay with hide and sex. I'll meet you in the hall closet in one minute.
@rickygervais: RIP Ronaldo's Moth. The world's most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old.
@edgarrants: I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM BECAUSE MY WIFE IS DRIVING WITHOUT HER GLASSES ON AGAIN!!