@tastefactory: My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight.
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@thatdutchperson: "If all your friends jumped" 'Yes' "But if they" 'Yes' "But" 'IF I EVER GET FRIENDS I'M GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ME TO, OK MOM?
@nyctwon: I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet
@nowme_datta: How do people get their drivers to murder someone? Mine sulks if I ask him to fetch groceries.