@tastefactory: My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight.
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@shawnspree: My wife hates the way I introduce her to people in public. "THIS is my wife.." *looks down at the ground *sighs *kicks can
@ShutUpThatsWho: [opening can of Russian Pringles] once u pop u [inside can is a slightly smaller can] huh [inside that can is an even smaller can] wtf [in..
@DaHess1: Hey you with the Uggs, Michael Kors bag, iPhone, scarf and super excited voice.. *70 million white women turn around*
@Carbosly: There's this guy at work who's giving his wife a gym membership & a vegetable juicer for her birthday tomorrow. His name was Tom.