@robdelaney: My wife claims watching me do karate "isn't foreplay." Why am I even alive.
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@rpbateman: Fun Fact: When you die, someone will feel inconvenienced that your funeral is on a particular day. lol
@raniao2011: When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like I love you for what you have inside. (Me to my fridge)
@donni: MAYOR: I now present you a key to the city ME: So long, suckers! *hops in city and drives away* MAYOR: Come back! I need that for work!