@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
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@Love_bug1016: Gentle reminder to send that good morning text so she doesn't have to draw on her angry eyebrows.
@jake_lach: The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it's okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
@AndyAsAdjective: "how'd your football team football today?" those footballers footballed quite well…really good footballin'
@XAIMMadellynne: I have a plan. I bring him home ,but don't sleep with him. Long story short he pays for the taxi.