@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
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@longwall26: It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.
@KyleMcDowell86: *sees a babe about to walk through a puddle* "No no, allow me" *gets on hands and knees and drinks the entire puddle so the babe stays dry*
@JanineEB4: Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!
@JediGigi: Me: I don't feel well Mom: Did you eat the plastic fruit again, Gigi? Me: No Mom: ... Me: ... Mom: ... Me: *throws up plastic banana*