@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
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@TitansHomer: Criminal Tip: Buy a gun from a guy off the streets. As soon as he sells it to you, point it at him & get your $$ back. Free gun.
@PinkCamoTO: Me: I know it hurts, but you'll learn to love again. Sheep: I don't know. I can't even look at ewe right now.
@jan_rtr: My kid is singing "Mac-n-cheese" to the tune of "Stand by Me." You guys just tried it, didn't you?
@pinupteacher: 3 men asked me out while I was shoveling out my car. Lesson learned: showering and makeup are optional as long you're grunting.