@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
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@gmossii: Every time I put on my striped socks I always have an ominous feeling that today is the day that a house will drop on me.
@karenphotog: My boss said "dress for the job you want, not for the job you have" Now I am sitting in a disciplinary meeting in my Wonder Woman costume.
@FlyJ_: Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!