@Adam14: My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with
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@Storminika: During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.
@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".
@sageboggs: Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again
@NYC_Blonde: Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?